Overheard in the halls of Bedrock PD:

Officer Pimp Daddy: You know me, brother. I'm just a man whore.

Officer Wanna Be: Yeah. The women love that shit, man.

Me: Hysterical laughter from behind my computer monitor

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In my office at the Bedrock PD:

Officer Pimp Daddy: C'mon, Michelle, baby, my stuff looks like a baby's arm holding an apple.

Me: More like a vienna sausage.

Officer Pimp Daddy: Damn, baby, don't be like that. He might be short, but he's as big around as a sewer grate.

Me: Pimp Daddy, I wouldn't fuck you with somebody else's pussy.

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Officer Harley Davidson: I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut.

Me: JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH. Who are you, Orange Juice Jones? Get out of the 80's!