I’ve not said too much about how soul sucking my job has become in the past six months. It’s been bad. Really, really bad. So bad that I was the subject of an internal investigation because I dared to file a complaint about racist comments my supervisor was making on a daily basis. So bad that nothing was done about his blatant misogyny and racism, but I was made to feel like a total pariah for having the audacity to “question a man who has been a police officer for thirty years.”

Needless to say, I’ve not been happy with my job. And I used to LOVE my job. I felt like I was making a difference. I felt like I was valued and that my work was valued. I felt like I was part of a family. I felt fulfilled most days. For the past six months, I’ve felt like stabbing myself in the eye on a daily basis just to get away from the hateful comments muttered when I’ve entered or left a room, the rifling of my desk drawers, the snarky Post It Notes left on my computer, the endless calls to my house from “anonymous” sources about what a bitch I am, etc. It should come as no surprise that I’ve been looking for a new job.

I’ve not really found a lot of jobs locally that I’m interested in and certainly none that I’m “qualified” for since I’m lacking a damned degree. But our local public library has seemingly overlooked the fact that I’ve not finished with school quite yet (I’m apparently on the 20 year plan for my B.A.) and has offered me an interview for the position of Community Relations Specialist.

I’m scared to get too excited about the prospect of this job, because honestly? This could be my dream job (with um, less than a dream salary, but Jesus…to be happy about getting up in the morning to go work? I’ll take the pay cut, thanks!) Working every day in a library sounds like Heaven to me. Working to strengthen the library in our community, to make it better, to make kids feel comfortable in the library and to make them WANT to come to the library, to make it a place where people can come for more than books, to offer innovative programming, to make adult and youth literacy a priority, to improve community involvement in the continued success of the library is something I can only dream about.

And I have ideas about how to make all of that happen for the library. The first step was the interview. I’ve got that, now. My next step is to get this job. It would be the very best Christmas present ever!