There are certain movies that I cannot help but watch. I will watch certain movies, even though I know I will regret having watched said movie yet again. I will stare, often times slack jawed and weeping, at a movie which I know is completely unhealthy for me to view. You’ve Got Mail is one of those movies. And thanks to TNT, I’ve watched it 3 times in the past 24 hours. Honestly? I should have my cable revoked and a lobotomy scheduled right away.

But I haven’t done either and I have watched this movie a lot. And every single time I watch this movie, I pine.

I pine for the days when I too would wait with baited breath for my computer to connect, for the AOL icon to pop up, and for that voice to tell me, “You’ve got mail!” I pine for the days when I knew there would be a lengthy missive full of wonderful stories or a short note saying I was being thought of or later, a simple “I love you.” I pine for the days when we would talk on the phone for hours upon hours. I pine for the days when I could dream about our first meeting. I pine for the days when we dreamed of creating a life together. I pine for the days we did spend together.

But those days are gone; our story didn’t end like Joe and Kathleen’s. These days, I am recently married to a wonderful man who loves me utterly. And you, you are recently married to a lovely (from the pictures I’ve seen, at any rate) young woman whom I’m sure you adore.

And every once in a while, when I watch a movie that I know I shouldn’t watch, I miss those days with you. And I miss you.