We had the most wonderful weekend, spending time at Stephen’s parents in Harrodsburg and visiting Shaker Village at Pleasant Hill. Aside from the prodding from his mom for us to get married and move to Harrodsburg, it was a relaxing, albeit quick, get away from the drudgery of daily life here in Cincinnati.

We did actually discuss the plans his mom is so desirous of having us complete. We talked for a long time, as we walked his parents’ property, regarding our future and whether or not I could ever see myself living a “quiet” life somewhere like Harrodsburg. I finally realize relationships are all about compromise, and since Harrodsburg IS only 30 minutes or so from Lexington and a hour from Louisville, I swallowed my desire to live in a “big” city and said yes, I could eventually see us settling down in a small town like Harrodsburg.

Of course, I was saying this as I was being swayed by the lovely weather and the gorgeous night sky and the desire to be as far away from my “real” life as possible. And it didn’t hurt matters that he was squeezing my hand and talking about a life built together and family and how much he admires my writing and how he so wants me to *really* give my writing a chance and how much he loves me and and and....til my heart was full and I wanted nothing more than to do exactly what he was offering.

And then reality smacks us both in the face. I hate that reality intrudes on our idyll. We differ on how to raise children regarding religion. He won’t say it aloud, but I know my Catholicism, casual though it may be at times, chafes him. As much as I like to think I could really live in Harrodsburg, there is an enormous part of me which longs to live in Washington DC, regardless of all the naysaying Dempsey does when I mention this fact in our daily conversations. Stephen’s slightly bitter about the amount of time I choose to spend working at The Bad Ass Boy’s Home, time which I could be spending on him, on us. I want to shake him when it comes to finances; I finally got my credit back to good and have a decent savings and a retirement plan and a stock portfolio and he’s like a child when it comes to money matters. And there is his constant assertion that I am emotionally distant, that I visibly close down at times, and that it all harkens back to Chris. The fact that I don’t deny those last facts hurts him, I know, but I refuse to lie to him. Stephen knows I care about him, but he also knows I’ll never love anyone the way I loved Chris, naively and with no hesitation. And it cuts him to the quick. But he appreciates the honesty. At least we have that between us.

And time. We have time, regardless of how quickly we both sometimes want our relationship to move. We have all the time in the world. I wish we could enjoy more weekends like this one. Weekends where we laugh and talk and plan and just...are. Those are the best times we spend together and the times I cherish most in our relationship.